**THE REVELATION OF ST. VERTHAINE THE GOTH** And lo, there I was, decked out in my finest gothic and leather clothing, sipping a White Russian at the bar of my favourite goth club, and contemplating the sad state of the world. I lit up a clove and turned to watch the leatherboys, gothchicks, and vampyre wannabees do bad Tai Chi on the dance floor. All of a sudden everything froze, but only I and the music was still active. A beautiful woman in black leather and rainbow colored hair appeared on the dance floor. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her eyes shone like the sun Each move of her delicate arms told the story of Creation. She walked up to me and said //"I am ERIS KALLISTI DISCORDIA. I am the Goddess of Chaos. With me all things are possible. I have come to you to teach you many things, Verthaine."// I fell on my knees and cried out "I am not worthy!" She looked at me and smiled. //"All are worthy in the eyes of chaos. Stand up my silly goth boy, for I have something of importance to ask of you"// I stood up, and awaited with anticipation of what a goddess like Eris would ask me to do. "Your wish is my command, " I said. She smiled at me, and with a twinkle in her eyes she said onto me: //"Can you spare one of those clove cigarettes?"// And thus I was enlightened.